F-word R.I.P.

Today is April 18. On this date in 1775, Paul Revere made his famous ride warning the colonists that the British were coming. A rather large earthquake shook San Francisco, California, on April 18, 1906. 40 years later, my mother married my father for which I am very grateful.

Today, April 18, 2009, I declare a moratorium on the F-word. I don't want to hear it any more. It's used as a noun, a pronoun, a verb, an adverb, an adjective, a preposition, an interjection and a conjunction. It's an interrogative and an expletive. Can you tell I was an English professor in a former life?

Today, I heard it in many forms from adults as well as teenagers of both sexes in several sites in the campground. There were small children riding bicycles and playing in the immediate vicinity, and they heard the word used too. Children should not be subjected to a word with such a vile connotation. I don't think anyone should.

The English language is rich with words to cover any utterance. Why aren't we using them? My friends and I used to play a game where we would make up a curse without using curse words. It was fun and we thought we were pretty clever. What happened to the clever phrase? The bon mot? The witty retort?

The first time I heard the F-word was in college (no really--child of the 60s and all that, we never used that word at home) and I was a bit surprised. I understood its context and it seemed appropriate under the circumstances: the photographer had just accidentally exposed an entire roll of film. But the word itself has been watered down to cover everything. I wonder: what does a person say when they're really hurt, angry and frustrated? Does the person say the word twice as loud? Twice as much?

When we were kids, we dared you, double-dog dared you, and then the ultimate: triple-dog dared, from which you did not retreat unless you looked forward to the remainder of your childhood living as a chicken. Anyone who has ever seen "The Christmas Story" knows about the triple-dog dare and about what happened to our hero when he uttered the F-word. By the way, Lifebuoy tastes awful (that was my triple-dog dare).

Why is the constant use of the F-word acceptable? And if it's not acceptable, why are we creating a generation who would rather ignore our extensive vocabulary and replace it with one ugly word? To me, that's a sign of stupidity and low class.

I'm not perfect by any means and yes, I have used the word before as an expletive. I was alone and I said it under my breath. I would never say it around children and try to restrict its usage to situations of extreme stress. I have substituted "Aarrgh!" and "Gah!" and "Duh!" and "Grrr!" with good results.

Maybe I'm old but hearing a 14 year-old woman using the F-word repeatedly makes me angry and a little sad. She may be the finest young woman I could ever meet; however, the perception of her character changes with the words she says and I want nothing to do with her. She is selling herself short to fit in and that's wrong. We're smarter than that. Aren't we?

Another reason I'm glad to be an RVer

We had a windstorm in northern California on Tuesday that affected several counties. Outside the state park where I camp host, a tree fell and blocked one lane of the access road. The Marin County Fire Department removed the tree and the two state park rangers directed traffic around it, finishing in 30 minutes. However, there was other damage: the power lines into the park were down as were several others in the neighboring counties. The electricity in the majority of the campground was out. My rig sits just outside the grid and I had power.

I was feeling pretty good about being able to work on the computer and sip a cup from my freshly perked pot of coffee. Then the heater shut off and the screen dimmed. Uh oh. I still had some electricity but it was around half power, 15-20 amps perhaps.

Out came the 400-watt inverter and I plugged in the laptop to finish what I was working on. The batteries were fully charged and I wouldn't need the generator for hours. The electric heater drew too much power so I turned on the electric blanket and it warmed the bed. The refrigerator beeped to let me know there was low AC and since it was set to Auto, it transferred to running on propane. I finished my work and went to bed.

At 7, I turned on the water heater, took a shower, dressed and went to the office to check the reservations. With the computer down, I could only go by the previous day's printout. I had to post signs with the incoming reserved sites listed so drop-in campers would know what sites were available. This was the last spring break week and many decided to visit the park. The sign was set up in Excel, I took it home, looked it over, created a similar sheet and entered the names. I plugged in the 800-watt inverter with its two connections, added the printer to the laptop and printed the copies. I used the copier to dupe the reservation list and went back to the office to post the signs. I left the list on the counter and noticed PG&E was there to work on the power.

Returning home, I heated water on the stove and poured it through the one-cup Melitta drip. I could have made an entire pot but this would do. I watched the campers go in and out of the dark restrooms and take showers. I worked on the computer and at 12:30, the refrigerator beeped. The power had returned--for me. I warmed a sandwich in the microwave and reset the clock. I checked the reefer. It had returned to the AC setting. I unplugged the computer from the inverter and plugged it into the power strip. All was well.

Thursday morning at 7, I was at the office squinting at the Post-It notes on the monitor. I found the campground reservation website and access codes, and brought them home. Success: I printed the new 7-day reservation list and that day's incoming reservation list for the buildings. Now I could post the reserved signs on the sites and address the drop-ins with confidence about which sites were available.

The campground power was restored on Thursday at 2 with the exception of the restroom building next to me. I watched the campers emerge from the cold showers and they didn't look happy at all. The electricity in the building should be restored on Friday morning.

The RV back-up systems worked perfectly. Power outage? Reefer, hot water and stove on propane; computer and printer on inverter; and all else on batteries. Food stayed chilled, coffee was hot and work was completed. With an RV, a power outage is an inconvenience easily handled.